Snow day!

Not that it matters. I stay at home with Parker but still, we got about 13+ inches! Ridiculous. I'm tired of it. I can't wait for spring time! March! April! When I can take my jogging stroller out around the neighborhood with Parker! Ahhh, can't wait!

So Steve surprised me with Miyabi last night. Once again, I swear they put some type of cocaine, meth, heroin in these rolls. Coincidence that one of them is named a White River roll? I think not. I am addicted. I would eat them every day if I had a Miyabi money tree in the background. Here's some proof of the deliciousness.

On another note, I have fallen in love with another man...his name is Parker....

As far as the back goes I'm still hurting a little bit. Didn't do the Tae-Bo last night which was probably for the best considering I woke up with some soreness today. The irony. Don't work out, get sore. Lovely. Back2Life is on it's way tomorrow and I can't wait to try it out! PT tomorrow too.

Eating is going well! Hope everyone is having a great Thursday!

Parker is sleeping so I have a quick 10 minutes...ugh.

Seriously, that boy has given up on long naps! It's like he doesn't want to miss anything. And with so much garbage happening lately, who can blame him?!

So far so good today. Egg whites for breakfast and a bowl of mayo-less tuna (booo) with chick peas, sunflower seeds, and some balsamic vinaigrette. It was actually pretty blah. Surprising eh? I need some good and low-fat recipes that I can make quickly as I have about 15 minutes until my child needs to move on to another activity. I should probably plan out my menus every week like some people do. That way I'm not like damn, what's for lunch today or what's for dinner? Last night I was craving Miyabi Sushi. If you live in Southern NJ, you best get yourself there. The largest and most delicious rolls I've ever had. If I had a few mil I'd be eating there for dinner every day. My husband has actually become a running joke there as the little Japanese lady always greets him with "Nice to see you again." That's when you know we've been there a few too many times. I really think they put some kind of addictive substance in there. Why? Because I want it again tonight. Damn you Miyabi. Now normally sushi would be good but I don't get one roll. I get two. And normally I take off some of the rice but that's kind of against the rules at this place...it's just so damn good.

Now I'm salivating. Great.

I'm probably going to get in trouble for posting this but I'm going to attempt tae-bo tonight. Since it's snowing like mad I can't go to Zumba so I'm going to do this. I know, I know if I'm hurting I stop. I will. I just need to do something to get myself back on track. And like the last flareup of this, it went away and I was able to resume normal activity. So I'm going to take it upon myself to do just that. Sorry PT. I'll still go to you tomorrow but today I'm making the rules.

Everyone snowed in where they are today?? This is getting out of hand!!

Sorry it's been 5 days.... let me explain! (And don't unfollow me please!)

So the last post I told you all how I went to the hospital, was in a ridiculous amount of back pain and was prescribed meds and a follow up appointment to the ortho.

Friday I went to the ortho, no change in my spine. Still have the herniated disc and some nodes that I know nothing about nor do I want to research because I'm a hypochondriac. They prescribed me some PT and an epidural shot if I needed it. If my back didn't respond to any of that I would need another MRI and surgery. Uh, no. No thanks.

So for the past few days I have literally been doped up on various amounts of oxycodone and valium to help me get through the pain and to sleep. Oh, but first .... Friday happened. My parents live 15 min away and my dad had taken off all last week and this week to help me through this ordeal. Well, it semi-snowed/sleeted (is that a word?) early Friday morning. My parents were due to arrive around 7:30 when Steve left for work. I had trouble walking and picking up Parker so I needed the help. Steve woke me up around 7:15 and said "your parents were in an accident, I have to go get them." Apparently they hit some ice went airborne and landed and hit the rail. It was coming right off of our exit so they were only 3 minutes away. But..their car was totaled. Ugh. Luckily besides some back pain my dad had they were okay but still...REALLY?! How much worse could this new year start off? So that was a whole great, if it wasn't for my back they wouldn't have had to come and this wouldn't have happened. Guilt. It's a bitch.

The weekend was uneventful, I spent my days wallowing in self-pity, doped up on pills, indulging on raw cookie dough and raisinetes. Yes, I needed it. And yes, I've hopped back on the wagon. Today. I had to tell the Y that I can't do weigh in this week either because I'm not sure what I can/can't do yet. I'd rather take a "0" as weight loss then to screw my team with a "+3" I may have to get out all together. But if that's the case then I am going to do this on my own, with my own weekly weigh ins and have all of you to be accountable to.

I'll let you all know the route I have to go once I go to PT on Thursday. I'm hoping I get the green light to go all out but I doubt it. Maybe some walking daily but most definitely not advanced tae-bo cardio. Damnit.

All I can say is...REALLY?!?!

I hope you are all having a better past 5 days than I have had!

-C

Oh what a 24 hours it has been....

Long story short here because I'm still in pain. Yesterday I woke up, made breakfast fed my little man, about 5 minutes later I went to pick him up and something went POP. I then couldn't lift my left leg and pains were shooting up and down my legs. I couldn't even stand up to hold him. I had to call my mom crying for her to hopefully get here to help me. Luckily my mom and dad could come and my dad took me to the hospital.

Damn sciatica strikes hard this time. They gave me a shot of oxycodone and a valium and I went on my wasted way. I have a follow up appointment tomorrow with the orthopedist so hopefully they can give me a light at the end of the tunnel.

Needless to say, I did not get to weigh in today which is a good thing because since things have been so rough I've been "eating on the go" which never amounts to a loss. I also just picked out some chocolate chips from cookie dough. Yes I'm feeling sorry for myself. It's over though. Tomorrow I will start fresh and get back on track.

I'm hoping they say tomorrow that I can at least work out soon otherwise I don't know what else I'm going to do.

I did buy Back 2 Life and I'm hoping that it comes soon so I can begin some treatment.

On that note I'm on oxy and valium so I'm about done.

-Courtney

Noooobody knows the trouble I've seen.

Sorry I haven't blogged today, I'm still in recovery from this damn back. The steroids have helped a little but when I look at my body it leans to one side. I look hot. I wish I could take a picture to show you how my abs push over to one side. It's ridiculous. Hopefully after another day of steroid treatment I will be better and my body will automatically shape shift itself back into place!

I finally slept last night though which was good, only to be awoken by Parker at 5:30. Great.

I have my first official weigh in on Thursday and I don't even want to go. I know I didn't lose anything because of my back and because I'm on the steroids I probably gained weight :( This is not how I wanted my first weigh in to go. I wanted to run out of there screaming "Yes, 10 lbs!" Ugh...that will have to be my goal for the second week now provided I can work out hard!

I just feel bad for my partner because I don't know her at all and she's depending on me. I hope she understands! Ugh.

Other than that, not much else going on. I start grad school officially on Monday but we have to do some orientation and prework this week such as introductions to the class via a webcam. Online classes are going to take some getting used to and you most definitely have to be on your game since you don't physically attend a class. I'm really hoping to graduate with honors in 1.5 years and I'm looking forward to achieving that goal!

Hope you are all having a wonderful Tuesday!

Love,
Courtney

Steroids? Really?

Ugh. So I've hit a speed bump. Last night my back hurt so much I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned from one position to another the entire night. There was not one position that felt good. I woke up ready to go to the hospital. Then I had a brilliant idea: I would call my orthopedist and see if I could get a steroid refill from the last time I had a flare up.

Thank the lord they gave it to me. I'm 3 pills in and hoping that by tomorrow I'm on my way to standing straight up as opposed to being out of whack. Awesome. Great timing! I had to have bread with my pills (bread! the devil of diets!) and who knows when I'll be able to work out! I'm hoping Wednesday and Thursday will be hardcore workout days and at least I can pull a 3lb week as opposed to a 10lb week.

Life happens.

Reflection....

Thin mama. Exactly 30lbs ago.

Ouch.

As I type I'm sitting here with a bag of corn on my back. No improvement here. Need to take some more Tylenol... On a good note, Steve is coming home early! First it was tonight at 7:35 because he told his boss he needed to come home (so what, it's his last day there ever) and second he got to the airport around 3pm and caught the 3:40. Awesome, the stars are aligned for me tonight. Now if we can only win Pick 6 tomorrow.

I have been really good despite the BS (back snafu.) Eating really well. I was hungry so I found some Pizza Goldfish in the cabinet today. I took them out, took one look at them and said nope, sorry guys, maybe I'll see you again in April...but in moderation.

So proud of myself! For dinner I have a nice roll of sushi and a side salad.

Sorry BS, you're not thwarting this lady's efforts!

Random side comment.

Please stop showing that Jared Loughner mugshot. I get the chills every time I see it and it haunts me.

I know that he's a sick bastard but there's something about that photo that takes it to a whole other level.

Not posting picture because then I'll have to see it every day.

On a good note...so glad to hear that Senator Giffords is moving both sides of her body and is breathing on her own. Miracle.

My very first award!

I have to thank my friend and future award winning author Paul for nominating me for this award. Thank you, thank you. *bows* Not that I am deserving as I am a new blogger and have yet to achieve the amount of popularity Paul has but I am honored nonetheless!

You must check out his blog. He's writing a young adult novel about a subject that haunts our society today: Bullying. Can't wait to read the completed story!

To accept this award, you apparently have to do the following:

1. Thank and link back to the person who nominated you for the award. (DONE)
2. Share seven things about myself.
3. Pass the award on to ten recently discovered bloggers. Contact them and let them know they have been nominated.

Seven things eh? Hmmm, I'm not sure you want to know seven things about me but ok, I'll see what I can come up with. And as far as giving it to 10 bloggers, I'm not sure I know that many but again, I'll see what I can do.

Okay so seven things:

1) I eat cookie dough for a snack (Ok, not lately since this 90 day ordeal) but probably twice a month (if not more) I ask Steve to pick me up some cookie dough and I literally sit there and pick out the chips and eat them. Not all of them, that would be a bit too much, but enough of them. I don't touch the cookie dough (unless some is attached to a chip) but it's more of an OCD thing for me I think. I like to pick at things.

2) I have to fall asleep to The Nanny. I can't fall asleep if anything else is on and if for some reason I do, I wake up and immediately have to put it on. Nick at Night is pissing me off though. George Lopez is getting more play and that is super annoying.

3) I worked for Martha Stewart for her magazine Body + Soul up in Boston and I had a raging looney for a boss. Great experience, met some great people but damn, she was a nutcase. Apparently after I left she had a major breakdown - hilarious.

4) My ultimate dream has and always will be to be a backup dancer for Janet Jackson. I better get on that before she decides to retire as she's getting older but I would love LOVE to have pursued backup dancing as my career (haha.) I also love to choreograph as well but that's another post for another day...

5) I am obsessed with game shows. I love Jeopardy and love to watch and play it as many nights a week as I can. I tried out once, didn't make it past the second round and I'd love to try out again. I am also a Wheel of Fortune fanatic. Ask Steve, I can get the puzzle most of the time with ony a couple of letters on the board. I keep applying but they won't call me back. Damn you Pat Sajak. Guess I'll just have to apply to be Vanna for a Day. Whoopeedoo.

6) I was a marching band geek back in high school although I didn't play any instrument. I was in Color Guard. We wont a ton of awards thoughout the state and got to play at Giants Stadium which was awesome. Loved being in it and wish there was an adult guard!(Geek.)

7) I am slightly obsessed with Brian Taff, the news reporter for Action News. Listen to that voice, you would be too.

I guess that's it. I am going to contact the few people that I nominate for this award which are....*drumroll please*

http://winloseorblog-pauline.blogspot.com/


http://1girlgettinfit.blogspot.com/


http://eatingcleanandthewofw.blogspot.com/

Hehe

For some reason this really cracked me up. Happy Sunday!

Day 3! (Back Snafu)

Sorry, a little late with the post. The Parker decided it was cool to wake up at 6am and he's still not sleeping yet.

So...my back. I got sciatica during pregnancy and a few weeks after Parker was born it went away. But damn, the whole time it was so painful. It feels like my entire body gets out of whack and I lean on one side but can't put my weight on that side. Sucks. Fast forward to every time Steve goes away. It seems like during that time my back starts hurting again - A LOT. I know it's from me putting Parker in the car seat. At 18lbs 11oz and the weight of the car seat, I know it does a number on my back. Ugh. So here I am. Talk about a derailment. I can barely lift my own child and most certainly cannot walk around with him. I'm praying Steve gets the OK to come home tomorrow to help me out. Not that I haven't had help with my parents around but a whole day of not holding him at all usually helps it to go away faster. And I need it to go away by Mon/Tues so that I can work out HARD the next few days for weight in. This is seriously thwarting my efforts. My food has been impeccable but I really wanted to up the ante with some serious workouts to put our team on top when I lost 10lbs in the first week. Grrrr.

Hopefully if I rest tomorrow I will have Mon, Tues, Wed, and yes, even Thurs before I weigh in. Bring it on.

And damn you sciatica.

I'm exhausted so I'll be back tomm. Oh, but first. Buy these cookies. Gluten free is the way to be (I also have a wheat allergy!)

1st giveaway!

Hey everyone! So, I know that the best blogs always seem to have giveaways! Here is mine! Enter on top of the blog for an AWESOME work out video!

-Courtney

Day 2!

Day 2!...so far I've had a great egg white omelette with tomatoes and mushrooms! Lunch will be roasted tofu in balsamic vinegar on lettuce with sunflower seeds and chick peas...I'm trying to replicate the humongous salad I make at Whole Foods...we'll see how it goes.

OHHH and I didn't tell you all that I lost 3lbs.  Of course my weigh in at the gym was at 6pm after 2 meals and with food so I'm not surprised; however, I am very happy the second digit has gone down by 1 making it a 7! Go me.

I will never see that 8 again damnit!

Up too early today, Parker decided he wanted to start screaming "maaaaa" "maaaa" at 5:30 this morning.  At 6 I made the mistake of putting on Lifetime Movie Network....my luck, a movie was just starting.  It was very disturbing though...a janitor rapes and beats up an 11 year old girl.  Really Lifetime? Disturbing.  Not to mention they cast the freakiest looking guys.  Ugh, perfect timing for Steve to go away and for me to be scared.  Awesome.

Steve's leaving in about an hour... I get to spend a lot of time with my little one this weekend so I'm excited about that. At 6 months he's a lot more interactive and wants to laugh all the time.  He's so cute...Exhibit A:

That's it.  Still on track... They say the first few days are the hardest... that's for damn sure.  But the new second digit is inspiring! I hope to get one digit lower at weigh in next week? That possible?? Have a good morning!

-Courtney

Day 2!

Day 2!...so far I've had a great egg white omelette with tomatoes and mushrooms! Lunch will be roasted tofu in balsamic vinegar on lettuce with sunflower seeds and chick peas...I'm trying to replicate the humongous salad I make at Whole Foods...we'll see how it goes.

OHHH and I didn't tell you all that I lost 3lbs.  Of course my weigh in at the gym was at 6pm after 2 meals and with food so I'm not surprised; however, I am very happy the second digit has gone down by 1 making it a 7! Go me.

I will never see that 8 again damnit!

Up too early today, Parker decided he wanted to start screaming "maaaaa" "maaaa" at 5:30 this morning.  At 6 I made the mistake of putting on Lifetime Movie Network....my luck, a movie was just starting.  It was very disturbing though...a janitor rapes and beats up an 11 year old girl.  Really Lifetime? Disturbing.  Not to mention they cast the freakiest looking guys.  Ugh, perfect timing for Steve to go away and for me to be scared.  Awesome.

Steve's leaving in about an hour... I get to spend a lot of time with my little one this weekend so I'm excited about that. At 6 months he's a lot more interactive and wants to laugh all the time.  He's so cute...Exhibit A:

That's it.  Still on track... They say the first few days are the hardest... that's for damn sure.  But the new second digit is inspiring! I hope to get one digit lower at weigh in next week? That possible?? Have a good morning!

-Courtney

Success!

My day of eating healthy has been a success...1 down, 89 to go!
I can do this! Bring on the gym, zumba, and some kick ass tae-bo!

Word of the day: Accountable

Just got back from the Y and uh, yeah.  Yuck.  I was going to continue this post with how disgusting and gross I am but where would that get me? Probably with my head stuck in roll of cookie dough.  Which is exactly why I'm here in the first place...

Soo... drum roll please.... I will post my stats but only because I know I will never see these numbers again and because it holds me accountable.

Height: 5'8
Weight: 182
BMI: 27 (ouch)
Fat %: 34% (even more of an ouch ... I blame some of that on Parker.)

So there it is and here I am.  I got there and didn't have a partner so they paired me with one.  Her name is Kelly who is a 45 year old woman and has some weight to lose like I do (well why else would we be doing this.)  She didn't know we even had to have a partner and is glad that there's someone else that needs to hold her accountable too.  So I  think we'll do just fine.

I have done AWESOME today in terms of eating.  Egg whites for breakfast, yogurt for snack, tuna on a bed of spinach for dinner, carrots for snack, and salmon, brown rice, and veggies for dinner.  Take that frozen yogurt.

Steve leaves for Orlando tomorrow for a few days so I'll need to work my gym time around when I'll have company.  Luckily my dad is always "security" and stays over so that I can get some help.  Yes, I'm 32 and my daddy sleeps over when my husband goes away.  Yeah? So what.  You know secretly I'm happy about that....

Oh... picture. Ok, well here's a few recent ones...

And here's me thin and happy.  Wedding and honeymoon era....exactly where I need to be...which is about 35lbs.  Exactly what I want to lose.

I know, I know...you shouldn't define who you are by the number on the scale...but rather about how you feel. Well, I'm feeling crappy 1) physically and 2) about the number on the scale.  Sorry, it's the truth.

It's ON 35lbs... This time April 12th I will ROCK that white sequined bikini again and if anyone would like to buy me a 3 day carnival cruise to show it off on that would be awesome.  Thanks.

2 hours until weigh-in.

Crap.

Day 1!

Ok, ok so I promised a picture.  But it's 10:20 and the baby is sleeping on me as we speak so have I even done my hair and makeup yet? That would be a big fat NO.  I'll be taking my "before" picture tonight so maybe they'll let me steal it and I can post it here.  I'm deciding if I should wear bike shorts a la Biggest Loser and create my own Team Courtney sports bra to keep me motivated.  Hello cafe press.

So weigh in is tonight at 6pm.  Now, I don't weigh myself.  I hate the scale, I hate the numbers, I hate the pressure.  BUT...it's reality.  And it's time to face reality.  Although I'm not too happy about that, I know it's a necessary evil of weight loss. In the past, if I was gaining weight I'd see it in the expanded muffin top when I put on jeans or saw some extra baggage hanging out of the back of my tank top (gross I know but you all know what I'm talking about.)  At that point I'd cut out what was needed and done I was.  But I've done that all my life..up and down, up and down.  And this time it needs to be a lifestyle change.

As I was searching the web, I came across this blog... Watch My Butt Shrinking and this lady is my kind of woman.  She posted about eating alone and I left a comment about how I'm the biggest closet eater out there.  From the time I was little I always snuck food.  If I won a box of candy on the boardwalk in Seaside, I would bring it to my room and while reading The Babysitters Club books practically ate the whole thing.  As I got older, I would sneak candy whenever I could, whether it be from the fundraiser candy stored in my garage or using money in the cafeteria to buy extra cookies which would be stuck into my bag for a nighttime snack before bed.  I never understood why I did this but I know it's contributed to where I am now.  Even now if I"m coming home from somewhere I'll think Ohhh, Dunkin Donuts (because it's the only place with a drive through - otherwise I'd have to take the Parker out of the car) and I'll end up getting a chocolate chip muffin with cream cheese and some chocolate filled donuts I can suck the middles out of.  I know it's crazy but I find satisfaction in eating by myself.  It's a constant cycle though...eat then feel bad about it. So clearly, it's not good for me and I'm hoping the regimen will end that for me. Of course, there's probably some deep rooted childhood issue there but at 32 I really need to just let it go..

Anyway, so far so good. Ate my egg white omelette with mushrooms and about to eat a yogurt.  Lunch will be tuna (no mayo) on a bed of lettuce with veggies.  No sucking the chocolate off of a peanut butter cup, no sucking out the inside of a pierogi (yes, I've done that.)

Time to regain control and let it all go...but god, I'm really dreading that 3 digit number tonight....

Dun dun dun...

Well here we are...the day before my 90 day journey.  No, I'm not doing P90X (we do have it though and it's ridiculous...) but who has 1.5 hours a day to dedicate to that.  Not me.  I'm a stay at home mom with a very demanding and attached 6 month old.  A beautiful, handsome, charming, hilarious 6 month old that I love with all my heart.  I love everything about my little man except for that fact that he assisted in packing on a good 40lbs during pregnancy.  I mean, of course it wasn't the pizza fries that were a mandatory once a week indulgence. Sure it wasn't the frozen yogurt topped with an entire container of chocolate sprinkles.

During my pregnancy, I always made sure I NEVER looked at the scale at the doctors by yelling to the nurses "I don't want to know!" Except for that one time when my curiosity got the best of me and I peeked at my file while waiting for my exam.  Damnit why did I look?  The first number was a number I never thought in my entire life I would see.  But. Ok Courtney.  Breathe.  You are pregnant and well, let's face it you didn't exactly start out the whole pregnant journey as a fit and thin woman.  Fast forward to my 5 week check up post baby and the doctor saying "Wow, you lost a lot of weight."  Hmm, how much is a lot of weight? Again I was curious but didn't want to ask "Uh, well, just how much is that Dr?"  She left the room. I peeked at the chart.  Damnit.  Again, Courtney? Really?!?! Lucky for me that first number I previously saw was no where to be seen but was replaced by a number I knew and loved.  Phew.  Not that I was anywhere near I wanted to be.  You would think at that appointment after looking at the scale I would say, ok, here we go, let's get rid of this baby weight and then some.  However sleepless nights and my penchant for "Trail Mix" (quotations meaning that I did not touch a nut nor a raisin but ate out all the chocolate chips) did not help my cause.  Sure, I started Zumba which I loved and started to see what once again semi-resembled my stomach (minus that weird looking part that I think diet will help get rid of.)  But my eating habits didn't change the way I wanted them to.... And I really needed to add more cardio to my workouts... in addition to some light weight lifting.

I hemmed and hawed (how do you spell hawed?) on January 1st as most do.  Okay, this is the year. A clean slate, a new decade...how can I do this? Do I join Weight Watchers? What the hell could I do? Then I thought about a sign I saw at the gym.  A weight loss challenge a la Biggest Loser. 3 months. 90 days. (hence the name for this blog.)  You have a teammate, weigh in weekly, participate in challenges, work out with a trainer and at the end hopefully lose 3lbs a week.  That's right...36lbs please. GONE and AWAY! In it's place...a nice fit Courtney circa 1999.  The problem was that I needed a partner and with Steve travelling a lot I knew he wouldn't be able to commit to completely clean eating and working out every day.  So I emailed to see if there were any women out there who needed a partner.  Sure enough, there was.  Phew, so far so good.  Now, I don't know anything about this woman.  Is she 65 with 10 lbs to lose or 18 with 100 lbs to lose? I have no idea. Would she scoff at my 36lb weight loss goal if she had a lot to lose? Would she be as committed as I am going to be? (hence the reason for this blog: to hold myself accountable to the world)  Because at the end of this I want to win.  I want to win the gift certificate for dinner (uh, really?) a massage, and most importantly the trophy and bragging rights.  Well, not most importantly.  If I lose 36lbs and don't win, I'll still be a winner.  But damnit, I realllly want that trophy. (I'm a sore loser I've been told and apparently it's my dad's fault...)

During this 90 days of hell (okay, no more negative talk: During these 90 days of HEALTHY Courtney) I will also be participating in a 5K, something I've never done before. I"m not an avid runner, hell, I'm not a runner at all but I hope to at least gain enough stamina to finish the race respectably. Not to mention you run around Citizen's Bank Park and get two free Phillies tickets...how cool is that?

So...here I am.  The day before Day 1. The calm before the storm. Well, the storm before the calm...at least in my stomach having ingested a "last supper" of an eggplant calzone and raisinettes.  Well, I haven't had the raisinettes yet.  Little does Steve know he needs to head to CVS in a minute or two to get those for me.

At 6pm tomorrow I'll be weighing in and meeting my partner for the first time. I'm still hoping to see that last first number and hopefully see a three digit number I'll never see again.  Still undecided on if I'm going to post said number or just let you know my weekly progress.  Thoughts on that?

So here I sit excited and pumped for the next 90 days because it could change my life.  I need it to change my life.  And after all, it's ONLY 90 days. If brave people can survive illnesses and fight for our country for years, I should be able to restrain from shoving my face with sprinkles and Primo Hoagies.  I WILL do this.  And I have all of you to hold me accountable as I go through this journey.  Any motivational or inspirational quotes are greatly appreciated. I"m hoping that during this journey I will come to know some kind of self worth along the way. I don't want my weight to define me but want to be the healthiest I can be at the weight I need to be (well, that was a tad bit hypocritical...oh well... consider me a little vain and shallow.) After all I wish I could shell out the money for some liposuction....

I will post a picture tomorrow morning.  First day of something that's going to be very difficult for me...And I hope that at the end of it all I can say "Wow, it really WAS only 90 days...and take a really good look at me now."

-C